An Excerpt From Chapter One

“Well…!” she scrunched her eyes tight, awaiting the aftermath, “we’re here!”

The twins stared dumbstruck, rooted to the spot and the atmosphere that was previously bursting with excitement, turned chillingly sour.

“Hot and happenin’ springs to mind…not!” Gabby looked like she was about to self-destruct, “and as suspected, we’ve been brought right into the butt crack of no place!”

“You’re not serious Mum!” fret creased Jane’s face when Alice nodded the confirmation.

“If it’s not the butt crack of no place…, then its right next door!” Gabby fizzed.

The emptiness of Glendarry was particularly haunting. A face etched with anxiety, Alice felt powerless to relieve her children’s misery and her sorrow quickly turned to pangs of guilt. Going over and over it again in her head, she feigned positivity.

“Listen girls!” she implored, “we’re all going to have to make a few sacrifices. Let’s just give things a chance and if it doesn’t work out then I promise…, we’ll look at alternatives!”

“This cannot be happening!” Gabby protested and a temper tantrum threatened, “it’s a pure dump and I want to go back to Blardeedah!”

“Please Gabby!” Alice frowned, “we haven’t even reached the cottage yet and you’ve managed to condemn the place!”

“You can’t blame me, can you, we’re like literally up the Inca trail without a paddle!” she griped, “…take us back to Blardeedah!”

“It’s all me, me, me with you!” Jane retorted.

“Shut it face-ache, I’m trying to cling onto my sanity here!”

“Ha…, who’s doing the ugly cry face now then…?” Jane sneered.

“Now that’s odd…, I never knew you spoke moron!” Gabby hit back, “there’s a self-referral you can do to fast track yourself to the Ministry of Morons and get yourself that personality transplant you so desperately need and seriously…, don’t worry about cash…, we’ll do a Go Fund Me!”

“Beat it hag breath…!”

“Look…, that is enough. I’m sorry you’re disappointed!” Alice ached with guilt.

Choosing her words extra carefully, she managed to convince the twins to make the initial sacrifice and give Glendarry a chance.

“It’ll be fine Mum,” Jane lied despite thinking how bizarre the whole place really was, “just think…, it’ll be an adventure Gabby!”

“Whatever…, you actual balloon!”